18 August 2005

Politics: Magic? Art? Irrelevance?

On careful reflection, I think magic is too strong a word. So I'll go for Art, since people who understand it bang on about it and everyone else thinks it's a big waste of everyones time, Hats Off!

Having read recent articles on BBC News, it transpires that politics is actually really good. The problem is with the media constantly rubbishing all political claims and ideas so that the public become totally cynical about the whole thing. Yeah, right...

The only worthwhile element of politics is the ends to which the English language is put in order to pour scorn upon the Right Honourable Person sat opposite. The term Right Honourable applied to politicians shows just how seriously politicians take themselves. How they can keep a straight face...

Jeremy Clarkson was quite right when he said that the government has little or no impact on how you live your life on a day-to-day basis. That's the reason why nobody bothers to vote. That, and the fact that once bunch of lying scumbags is as good as the next. If the political parties were companies providing the public with a service (which they kinda are, if you can call it a service), then the regulatory body would be down on them like a ton1 of bricks.

If there was an equivalent of the Monopolies and Mergers Commission that dealt with political parties, we could have them all done for an Unfair Lack of Competition.

A particularly cleverly-engineered virus could do away with all politicians2 and no-one would notice, apart from political correspondents who would turn up and there would be no-one to interview. In fact, political correspondents are about the only thing politics-related worth watching. Seeing Jeremy Paxman make the most senior (I won't say powerful) politicians wriggle in his grip is almost worth the stealth taxes and TV license fee alone.

The rise of Politics is mainly because society doesn't like it when politicians actually stab each other in the back. But society is perfectly happy if you only figuratively stab people in the back. And you don't even have to look them in the eye when you're doing it.

1 Or tonne. Whichever is heavier.
2 Not that I'm advocating such a course of action. Just so you guys in the listening posts don't get your knickers in a twist over nothing.

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