06 March 2007

How to Stop America Invading You

Got Oil? English not your first language? Looking to expand your countrys technology base? Then the USA wants you! Dead.

So how do you stop the Redneck Army invading, short of waving Jesus flags? Simple. The solution is clear. Contaminate your Oil. With silicon. The advanced internal combustion engines of the infidels cannot process poor-quality gasoline. It's no use to 'em, can't use it.

So, if you've no usable natural resources, the only reason they've got to invade you is if you intend to get within one hundred years of them, technologically. And, between you and me, that's not really such a big deal to them. They just want your Oil.

Make their satellites work for YOU. Construct a huge oil contamination plant. Ship in huge quantities of silicon in yellow wagons with "Silicon" written on the roof. Be really blatant about pouring it into your oil. Smile for the cameras.

You are now free to abuse your womenfolk and develop dirty bombs in peace.

Contaminated unleaded petrol blamed for causing thousands of cars to break down has been traced to a depot in Essex, a supplier has said.

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