The Bible is Wrong

Not my words. Don't kill the prophet! Back, zealot!. This is from the horse's mouth. The Catholic Church has now stated that elements of The Bible are untrue.

The regular Reader (yes, THE reader) will know my thoughts on Organised Religion, Christianity in particular. I personally have always thought that The Bible is more akin to a compendium of short stories, rather than a blow by blow historical account told from various points of view. I should add that, being an atheist and having only read snippets of The Bible, my dissection of the contents thereof should not detract from the U-turn of centuries of Christian dogma.

Are they saying that, actually, we shouldn't have gone to South America and killed all those Incas and Aztecs, etc for sacrificing all those other people¹? It was a typo in our Big Book of Orders. It turns out you aren't allowed to kill people and cut out their hearts, and all that other stuff.

Are they saying that going to far off lands, giving them a Bible and saying "read this and do what it says, or we'll kill you" was wrong? Put simply like that, it is wrong, regardless of whether the Bible is "right" or "wrong".

Genesis is "conflicting"? So He didn't create the universe in six days? That always sounded far-fetched. That's like a government saying "We'll fix everything wrong with this country, for free!". Putting aside my atheism, creating a half-decent universe takes a month at the very least, even allowing for omnipotence.

Quote: "should not expect 'total accuracy' from the Bible". So, the only decent parts of the whole book are rubbish? Water into Wine? Walking on Water? Parting the Red Sea? Plagues of nastiness? All those cunning plot devices that make the Bible quite the page-turner aren't true? Well, what do we do now?

This does rather leave a couple of billion rather out in the cold, theologically² speaking. That's like saying to a Capitalist "You know all those bits of paper with pictures and numbers on them you crave so much? They're not worth anthing!"³.

So, like removing Saddam from Iraq, those who have suffered "deity decapitation" ⁴ now have a yawning power vacuum into which all sorts of nasties may get sucked. It's a dangerous universe out there. Keep your undying soul inside the vehicle at all times.

¹ Which is hypocritical at best.
² As supposed to 'meteorologically'.
³ Which of course they aren't. But don't tell anyone. It'll be our little secret.
⁴ Which I hereby Copyright, by the way.